i have a feeling that

Swastika Jajoo

my grandfather’s hands must have grown feeble.
the latest letter from him is proof of it & i hold
the paper close hoping the words will
crawl onto my skin and sink
their teeth into it so i will be reminded
of feeling. that does not happen. even love
fails on the days the body has decided
to shut itself in. my monologues are all
knock knock jokes but nothing tickles
anymore. i read the text from the letter
over and over again, say the same joke
over and over again, hold my hands out
to the autumn sky so they can know
that warmth is not a myth. i must
trust in how his alphabet trembles,
how the i is misshapen and lonely
but still here.

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Swastika Jajoo is currently studying linguistics in Japan, and is a 2021 Editorial Resident with The Seventh Wave. She won the second prize in the poetry contest organized as part of the international Glass House Poetry Festival in July 2020. She has been published with Riggwelter, Eunoia Review, Muse India, and The Huffington Post, among others, and her spoken word pieces have been featured on UnErase Poetry, one of India’s leading spoken word content producers. In April 2019, she gave a TEDx talk featuring poetry at her university. Her work is upcoming in Capsule Stories in December 2020 and in an anthology by Airplane Poetry Movement in 2021. She was also invited to perform with Rolling Stone India for Pride Month 2020.

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