suffering the joy of rendering

Bethany Jarmul

Painting with pain, splattering the canvas of possibilities, smearing strawberry-scented berries,
dollops of disillusionment, cherry frosting sprinkling with illusions, dust upon dust, ashes to
ashes. Sculpting memories, molding with wet hands dripping with diary-sour dissonance at the
feet of creativity. Wrestling in a vat of fat, slipping, sliding in and out of consciousness. The
forgotten fidgeting between the calloused hands of the remembered. Grabbing thoughts, popcorn
kernels mid-popping, lassoing the giraffe-necked past, the star dust dreams. Swatting swirling
sentences, squashing metaphors, splatting their guts against glass sliding doors to the grassy
unknown where plump curiosities hang, ripe with the juiciness of rotting narratives. Oh, the
gladness of bitter surrender, the sanguine of salty mirrors, of reflections of imaginary self.

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Bethany Jarmul is a writer, editor, and artist. Her work has appeared in numerous literary magazines and been nominated for Best of the Net. She earned first place in Women On Writing's Q2 2022 essay contest. Bethany enjoys chai lattes, nature walks, and memoirs. She lives near Pittsburgh with her family. Connect with her at bethanyjarmul.com or on Twitter: @BethanyJarmul.

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